


you can trust me not to think

by estrella30



Category: One Direction, Radio 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-14 22:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estrella30/pseuds/estrella30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Please, Grimmy, you’ve been gone on Harry from the first night you met him,” she huffs. Nick can hear more things banging and then an ominous sounding sizzle and Annie cursing. He’s about to ask if everything is all right but she starts first and says, “Anyone with eyes can see it. Well, except for you and apparently Harry.”</p><p>or, Harry goes on a date and Nick gets jealous</p>
            </blockquote>





	you can trust me not to think

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to harriet_vane for the super fast beta! any remaining mistakes are completely my own.

It’s half nine on a Tuesday when it happens. Nick is sat in his chair in the studio queing up the next song he’s going to play, when the door opens and Harry practically bounces back in, a cardboard cup of tea in each hand. 

“All right?” Harry says, and slides Nick his cup as he folds himself into the chair next to him. Nick nods and murmurs his thanks, but something is off about Harry; his cheeks are flushed and he’s not quite looking Nick in the eye. 

“Are _you_ all right?” Nick asks.

Harry nods jerkily. He sips his tea and makes a face when it’s too hot then peels off the cover and blows across the surface. Nick watches and notices everything about him; from the pink tint high on Harry’s cheeks to the way his skin is flushed down his throat into the collar of his black Ramones t-shirt. He’s biting his lip and flicking his eyes up and away every few seconds, but then finally he looks up and catches Nicks eye. He holds Nick’s gaze and Nick thinks in the exact same second: _oh!_ and _fuck_ , and then Harry says it, and Nick spends the rest of the morning hearing nothing but static. 

“So…I think I just met someone.”

*

“So Harry fancies the new intern down at the studio, yeah?” Annie’s banging around in Nick’s kitchen supposedly making them something to eat. He doesn’t know why he even lets her come over to cook for him anymore; the last two times ended in ordering a takeaway and the time before that a small kitchen fire.

“Dear god, does everyone know?” Nick complains. He sips his wine but it burns his throat on the way down. “Did he take out a bloody advert in the Daily Mail that I don’t know about?”

And oh, Nick realizes a beat too late how truly terrible that probably sounded. He thinks he might have gotten away with it, but then he sees the flash of Annie’s hair poking out from the doorway into the kitchen and Nick sighs. 

“D’you have some sort of problem with Harry fancying Danny?” she asks. 

“Hmpf. Danny is it?” Nick mumbles and averts his eyes. “Wasn’t even sure of the lad's name.”

Annie is suspiciously silent before stepping out so her full body is leaning in the doorway. She folds her arms and watches him. Nick manages to look up and stare back at her, but then she’s narrowing her eyes and pointing a finger in his direction and Nick looks away again busying himself with filling his wine glass.

“You’re the one who interviewed him, Grimmy,” she says flatly. “ _You_ hired him.”

“I must have still been pissed that morning, then,” he says flippantly. That’s the only thing he can think of because if he’d thought it through there’s no way he would have willingly hired someone as fun and fit and _young_ as Danny. There’s just not. “I’ve told you not to let me make important decisions while I’m not operating with all my facilities, Annie. This is more your fault than mine.”

“Don’t do this,” she snaps. Nick looks up at her guiltily and she’s glaring at him but her frown is sad at the edges. “Don’t punish Harry because you were too slow.”

And that’s not—“That’s not it,” Nick says but Annie rolls her eyes and disappears back into the kitchen. “It’s not,” Nick argues, but it sounds half-hearted even to his own ears. 

“Please, Grimmy, you’ve been gone on Harry from the first night you met him,” she huffs. Nick can hear more things banging and then an ominous sounding sizzle and Annie cursing. He’s about to ask if everything is all right but she starts first and says, “Anyone with eyes can see it. Well, except for you and apparently Harry.”

“I can see it,” Nick mumbles, because he can, but all the reasons behind why not are too much for him to get into right now. Like how when he first met Harry he thought, _hmm_ , but he was fairly convinced that Harry was only going to date people like Cazza and, well, girls, mostly. 

But then Nick got to know Harry and knew that it wasn’t just Cazza, and it wasn’t just girls. Harry was so much more than Nick had ever imagined he would be, and when he told Nick how it doesn’t matter to him – things like age and gender and the like – Nick thought one more time, _hmm_ , but didn’t do anything about it _again_ , and, well, that was pretty much that. 

It just gets to a point sometimes, Nick thinks, that you miss it. That you meet someone and there’s the potential for something more to happen, but then time passes and you become friends and one day you turn around and it’s just too late. Someone’s either dating someone else or interested in someone else or you’ve just fallen into such an amazing, perfect, happy, working friendship and it becomes too much to risk just for the chance of something more. 

Nick thinks he and Harry passed that point about six months ago. 

“It’s fine,” Nick says. He’s trying for casual but misses it by at least a mile if the look Annie shoots at him as she comes over to sit next to him on the couch is anything to go by. “I’m sure he and Sammy—“

“ _Danny_.”

“Right, Danny. _Whatever_ ,” Nick says and rolls his eyes. “I’m sure they’ll be perfectly happy together. Young and nubile and doing shots off each other’s buff bodies or summat while you and I sit around and eat…” he trails off because for all the banging Nick doesn’t actually smell anything cooking right now. “Uhm, Annie?”

“Yeah,” she says and she at least has the decency to look ashamed. “You might want to find the takeaway menus again.”

Nick reaches into the cushions where he stashed the pile of menus before Annie came over. “Done. I vote sandwiches.”

Annie hits him on the head with the rolled up menus and shoves him off the couch and onto the floor. “Arsehole,” she mutters and they manage not to mention Harry for the rest of the night.

*

Nick’s at the station the next morning when he feels Harry come up from behind his chair and curls himself over Nick’s back, arms wrapping tight across Nick’s chest. Nick bats at Harry’s hands playfully and cries out, “Help! I’m being attacked by a popstar!”

Harry smacks Nick a little and stands up. “Twat,” he says fondly. He finds his chair in the corner of the studio and flops down into it, a loose sprawl of arms and legs and curly hair flying. Nick tries not to notice the strip of pale skin that’s visible between where Harry’s shirt is riding up and the low waist of his pants and trousers. “So hey,” Harry says just as a balled up napkin hits Nick in the head. “You need anything?”

“No, why?” Nick asks. Not that it’s unlike Harry to offer to get him something - he actually usually does bring Nick in a cup of tea or a copy of the paper – but he’s being dodgy about it, overly fidgety and nervous looking. It’s a strange look on Harry who’s always so confident, and Nick is about to ask what’s wrong when there’s a knock on the door and someone is poking their head in and Harry gets all blushy and stupid and Nick realizes what the issue actually is. 

Fucking _Danny_.

“Hi, uhm, sorry to interrupt,” Danny says and Nick glares at him as Harry jumps up from his seat and starts doing that ridiculous thing where he flips his hair and shakes it all around as if the world is travelling with a pocket camera just in case Harry Styles pops up and decides to shake his famous fringe at them. 

“No, hey, hi,” Harry answers, and really, Nick is pretty sure Danny was talking to him, not Harry. “You all right?” Harry asks.

Danny smiles – he actually has the nerve to smile! – and Nick hates everything about him. His purposely messy brown fringe and his stupid fitted black t-shirt. He hates Danny’s arms and hands and chest and face - god, he _really_ hates his face - but he especially hates the way Harry is looking at him like he’s the best thing Harry’s seen all day. Which, seeing as how it’s only half eight, might be the case but still, Harry doesn’t need to look so bloody _glad_ about it.

“I’m all right, Harry, yeah. Good to see you again,” Danny says. He’s smiling at Harry too and fucking hell, does _everyone_ have a mooney-eyed puppy dog look they can manage to pull out at any given moment? Nick has never seen anything as ridiculous as what he’s seeing right now.

“Right, yes, hi, hello,” Nick interrupts, because _honestly_. “Host of the radio show here, good to meet you. Did you actually need anything, love?”

Danny looks to him and smiles nervously and Nick flicks a song on quickly to buy him a few extra minutes. He’s fairly sure he isn’t able to make any kind of sense on the air right now and he’d rather not try when Harry and Danny are still standing there staring at each other, making the air in the booth feel sticky and hot. Danny’s grinning and Harry’s still got that stupid _face_ on where he stares at you like you hung the moon just for him right as he watched. Nick’s chest aches and he has to look away. 

“I was just stopping in to see if you needed a cuppa,” Danny says to Nick, and before he can even answer Harry says, “He does. I’ll help you make it.”

Danny smiles and says, “Great, thanks.”

“You don’t mind, do you, Grimmy?” Harry says. He’s turned around to face Nick now and Nick wants to shout, _Yes! I do mind! Of course I mind!_ He doesn’t though, because Harry looks excited and happy and smitten and while it will probably kill him in the end Nick will ultimately do whatever Harry wants to make him happy. 

“Course not,” Nick says. “Go away, who even invited you here?” He smiles and throws a handful of paperclips at Harry’s head to let him know he’s joking and Harry grins back and leaves with Danny, both of their heads tilted toward each other so they can whisper as they leave the room. 

*

“So do you like him?” Harry asks later that night. They’re both stood in Nick’s kitchen, Nick drinking a glass of white wine and Harry making them eggs and toast and grilled tomatoes and sausages for dinner. “I mean, I do. I think he seems nice,” Harry adds.

“I would suppose you do,” Nick says blandly, “Seeing as how you agreed to go out with him tomorrow night, yeah?”

Harry’s cheeks go pink and Nick is absolutely not noticing how ridiculous he looks when they do. “Well yeah,” Harry says before flicking off the heat on the hob and sliding the eggs from the pan onto two plates. “Do you think he fancies me?”

Nick rolls his eyes and takes his plate as he heads into the living room. “You did tell him your name, right? Something like, _hi, I’m the super fit singer of the world famous boyband your thirteen year old sister probably has plastered all over her bedroom walls_? Because as long as you did I’m sure you’re set.” Nick settles into the couch and puts his glass on the table next to him, his plate balanced on his knees. 

Harry sits next to him, tucking in close to his side. “Fuck off, you tosser,” Harry says, but he’s smiling as he says it so Nick figures it’s okay.

They eat in silence for a few minutes while Nick flips through channels on the telly, and he absolutely does not think about how much he likes nights like this. How happy he is when he and Harry just do nothing together; Harry cooking eggs and Nick getting them tipsy on wine while they watch a terrible program on the telly. Everything about Harry is familiar, from the weight of his arm and leg pressed against Nick’s to the sound of the scrape of his fork against his plate as he eats. Nick hates thinking of anyone else having this, of anyone else getting to share Harry in this same way, but then Harry leans his head on Nick’s shoulder and takes a sip from his wine and Nick thinks about how terrible it would be if he lost everything including this and figures it’s all for the best in the end. 

“I think he’d have to be mental not to fancy you,” Nick finally says. Harry looks up at him and grins and Nick manages to be a good friend and ask Harry all the right questions about his pending date for the rest of the night.

*

The thing is, Nick doesn’t actually _mean_ to spy on Harry when he goes on his date the next night. 

It’s just that Harry mentioned where they were going (the small place with the outside tables that Nick loves and it doesn’t bother him at _all_ that Harry is taking some other bloke on a date to the place that Nick thinks of at theirs) and so what if Nick ordered a takeaway from the thai place right across the street from the outdoor café? And so what if he declined delivery in favor of picking up for the first time in forever? And so what if he went and got his food and then sat in his car and maybe watched Harry and Danny at their table, talking and laughing and drinking wine together?

Nick grabs his mobile and punches in Annie’s number before he can talk himself out of it.

“Grimmy,” she says when she answers. “You all right?”

“I’m a terrible person,” Nick says. He leans his head against the steering wheel and closes his eyes. “The absolute worst.”

“Oh god,” Annie moans. “What the ever loving fuck did you do now?”

Nick tilts his head up and squints out the front windshield. Harry and Danny have food now, and they’re still talking and laughing and drinking and Nick should honestly be locked up. “Nothing?” he says weakly. 

“This is about Harry, isn’t it,” she snaps. “He and that bloke are out tonight, aren’t they?”

“Oh, I’m not sure,” Nick lies. “Was that tonight?”

“Nick, if you do or say something on purpose to mess up that lad's date tonight—“

“Of course I’m not going to _say_ anything,” Nick says, because really, does she think he’s an idiot? “They don’t even know I’m here.”

Nick realizes what he’s said a split second too late. “ _What _??” Annie screeches. “What do you mean they don’t know you’re there? Where the fuck are you?”__

__Nick bolts upright and starts making horrible hisses and squawks into his mobile. “What? What was that? Oh no, sorry, Annie, going through the tube and you’re cutting out, bye,” and hangs up as quickly as possible. It rings again instantly but Nick flings the mobile onto the floor of the car and kicks it under the seat._ _

__Nick really needs to leave. He just – he needs to start his car and drive away and pretend this horrifying instance in his life never actually happened. He’ll have to convince Annie tomorrow that she was drunk when he called which shouldn’t be too hard; Annie usually is drunk when he calls so he’ll just have to play up that angle. And, well, all right, Nick might possibly need to have his _morals_ examined at some time in the future, but really, that’s not much of anything new either. _ _

__He looks out the window and breathes a sigh of relief because somehow in the space of time between Nick losing his mind and calling Annie and then getting it back again and hanging up on her Harry and Danny have left. Their table is empty and a quick glance around doesn’t show them anywhere and Nick is fine with that. He starts the car and is buckling his seatbelt and getting ready to chalk the whole experience up to yet another humiliating night in his life when there’s a knock at the driver side window and every hope Nick had of getting out of this situation unscathed vanishes into the air._ _

__“Hey,” Harry says. His mouth is tipped into a frown and his forehead is wrinkled in confusion. “Shove over, I’ll drive.”_ _

__*_ _

__The ride to Nick’s flat is quiet and tense. Harry spends the entire time staring straight out the windshield never letting his gaze linger on Nick for too long, and Nick spends the ride trying to scope out the area and find the highest building to jump off of if given the opportunity. He can imagine the headline now: _Surprising to almost no one, semi-famous radio DJ plunges to death after being caught spying on incredibly fit eighteen-year-old popstar best friend, page 6_. It wouldn’t even make it to page one, is the thing. That’s just how pitiful Nick’s situation actually is._ _

__Harry parks by Nick’s flat and lets himself out of the car quietly. He waits for Nick to meet him at the door and then steps back when Nick unlocks it and all the while Nick is wondering what Harry is going to do or say. Nick can’t even deny what he was doing there is the thing. If he was going to deny it he had to do it half an hour ago when he first saw Harry, not now while trying to play catch up._ _

__Nick takes off his jacket and tosses his keys into the bowl on the counter. When he gets to the kitchen he finds Harry already there, leaning back against the counter with his arms folded and his mouth still pulled into a frown. His hair is pushed back and into a black beanie and Nick tries not to notice that Harry’s wearing his good dark jeans and a shirt that he’s fairly sure is brand new. For his _date_ Nick’s brain reminds him, and he can’t take it anymore and has to apologize._ _

__“I’m sorry,” Nick says quickly. “I’m a twat.”_ _

__“You are,” Harry says. “Not going to argue with that.”_ _

__Nick waits until Harry is looking at him, his eyes so serious and green, and lifts his hands palms up and shrugs. “I was just in the neighborhood and decided to stop by and say hello?”_ _

__“By hiding in your car,” Harry says flatly, and oh. Right. “I just…I don’t get it, Grimmy,” Harry says, and he honestly sounds confused. “Why?”_ _

__Nick’s chest feels tight and his throat hurts when he tries to swallow. He thinks that this is probably the worst it’s ever going to get. If he doesn’t explain himself Harry won’t understand why Nick was there and he’ll start not telling Nick things and not hanging out with him and that’s just – that’s not what Nick wants at all. He never wanted Harry to know why Nick was acting the way he was, but now he’s kind of taken that option away from himself._ _

__“Did you know,” Nick says quietly, “That when you fancy someone you get like, this look.” Harry stands up a little straighter and cocks his head to the side. “Your face gets all pink and stupid looking and your eyes get funny and you get this like, a second dimple right over the first one in your cheek. Did you know that?”_ _

__Harry shakes his head. “No, I. I didn’t know that.”_ _

__Nick fusses with the mail on his counter, standing the envelopes up and arranging them in size order before putting them back down. “Well, you do. I’d seen it before and I haven’t seen it in a while now and, I don’t know. I guess I just went a little nutty about it.” He looks up and smiles sheepishly. “Sorry.”_ _

__“So you followed me out on my date,” Harry says slowly, “Because I got a second dimple talking to Danny that you hadn’t seen in a while. Is that right?”_ _

__“Well when you put it that way,” Nick mumbles._ _

__“But you’d seen it before,” Harry repeats. “Yeah?”_ _

__“I think so,” Nick mutters. “Maybe once or twice.”_ _

__Harry’s not listening to him anymore though, he’s crossing the room and the next thing Nick knows Harry is right there, in Nick’s space, their knees touching and his fingers wrapped around Nick’s wrists._ _

__“I told Danny tonight that I thought it’d be better off if we were just mates,” Harry says, and Nick has to swallow hard because really, why is Harry telling him this._ _

__“That’s great,” Nick says. “Yay for you.”_ _

__Harry huffs and pulls Nick a little closer. Nick looks at him and Harry’s grinning a bit and his eyes are sparkling green. “Don’t be a twat,” Harry tells him, “And look at me.”_ _

__Nick rolls his eyes. “I am looking at you.”_ _

__“No,” Harry says firmly. “ _Look_ at me.”_ _

__So Nick does. Harry’s eyes are almost twinkling and his cheeks are flushed warm and pink. He’s smiling at Nick and his cheeks are creased with dimples and Nick realizes all at once what Harry’s saying and what he means and what’s going on. His heart bangs painfully against his ribs and his breath gets stuck in his chest a little, and then he slides his hand around the back of Harry’s neck, into his hair and presses his thumb against both of the soft dimples in his cheek._ _

__“Do you get it now?” Harry asks, and he’s already leaning in, his lips brushing over the corner of Nick’s mouth. “Are you paying attention?” And Nick smiles and pulls him in and kisses him back._ _

__

__-end-_ _


End file.
